We Made It

We finally made it.

It may seem a tad anticlimactic - particularly after it's been just over two weeks since we last left the hospital, and I've been back at work since Monday.

Nonetheless, today is the last day of my last cycle of chemo. Tomorrow is the first Friday I won't go back for another round of treatment. (Of course, I did go on auto-pilot driving to work on my first day back and wound up at the hospital...)

I have to admit, I was surprised at how momentous finishing my last bag of chemo felt. Leading up to that point, I felt that finishing my six cycles of chemo would wouldn't feel worth celebrating. After all, we'd still have to wait another six weeks before my follow-up scan to determine whether we were actually done or if I would need to have a second line of treatment.

But then the IV pump started beeping. Beeping for real, not the incessant "air in line" beeping triggered by the tiny bubbles in my particle chemo cocktail. (I like to think of it as the champagne of chemos.) I felt a wave of... pride is too strong a word... accomplishment. Whatever comes next, this chapter was ending. No, we don't know exactly what comes next, but as my brother reminded me, "we celebrate the moments."

So here's to a moment worth celebrating. Here's to not having to go to the hospital once (or twice, as was the case half the time) every three weeks. Here's to our kids getting to have both mommy and daddy home each night. Here's to Kristen not having to drive back and forth between our apartment and the hospital (though, we're still so grateful to only be 15 minutes [without traffic] from one of the greatest cancer hospitals in the world). Here's to not having Neulasta shots and the subsequent aches and pains (though CVS keeps calling trying to get me to refill my prescription. No thanks.) Here's to not having a doctor's appointment for four weeks after having at least two every week for almost five months.

I hope you'll celebrate with us as this chapter closes. I also hope you'll continue to pray as we look forward to our next mile marker - my follow-up PET scan on March 8 and consultation with my oncologist on March 9 to discuss the results and what comes next.

I'm reminded of the things I asked you to pray for many months ago, back when I had a confirmed diagnosis and awaited my first PET scan. Praise God for his faithfulness to answer many of these so far, but continue to pray that the cancer would be completely eradicated (a very low score on the Deauville five-point scale would be fantastic!).

For Kristen and the kids:

Pray for grace and peace as Kristen walks with me through this. Pray strength for her as she cares for the kids and me while I undergo treatments. Pray for continued wisdom as we try to help the kids understand and minimize any fear or trauma for them.

Most immediately:

Pray that scans and tests would show no spreading. Pray that the God who told the waters “this far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt” (Job 38:11) would hold this tumor in his mighty hand and say the same. And pray that it would not grow and would not impede or affect the vital organs around it.

As we move forward:

Pray that the chemo would decisively shrink and eradicate this tumor. Pray that the doctors would choose the best treatment from the start so that immediately the tumor will begin to die. Pray Jesus would curse this tumor, as he did the fig tree in Matthew 21:18-22, and we, like the disciples, would be amazed and ask how it withered so quickly.

And big picture:

Pray that I would be completely healed/cured. As the psalmist praises in Psalm 116, pray that the Lord would hear our cries for mercy. (v1) Pray that he would deliver me from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living. (v8-9) Pray that like him, we will celebrate, worship, and ask “What shall I return to the Lord for all his goodness to me?” (v12) Pray that I would have many decades to love my wife, my kids, and testify to the goodness of the Lord.