T+48 - with thanksgiving in all circumstances
In the last 48 days since our first indication that something was wrong, we have had many things to be thankful for. And in a season where it's easy to drown in the hard parts, Jon and I are trying to make it a discipline to choose gratitude and to notice the little things (non-medical) that make life a little sweeter, easier, and funnier. I've written about this before, but here's round 2, since it's been a while:
We are thankful...
... for our oncologist (and oncology care team) - we're really thankful for her thoroughness, straightforwardness, and willingness to answer all our questions and give us straightforward answers. We're thankful she went the extra mile to run extra tests and ensure that we knew what we were dealing with quickly and completely, and that we were able to start chemo right away, and there wasn't a long waiting period. Just over two weeks after our initial diagnosis, we were inpatient beginning round #1.
... for our lovely friend Amy, who took such beautiful photos of our family before chemo started - we treasure them, and our time with you, and were so thankful you fit us in before everything got started.
... for all the family members (and friends) who have rotated through to stay with our crazy (and sweet) kids so that I can be in the hospital most days and nights with Jon - it has been a labor of love and sacrifice, which they have joyfully made without hesitation, even through sleepless nights with anxious kids. It has made a huge difference in knowing that our kids are well-loved and cared for when we're not able to be there. We truly feel our village.
... for the night nurse who hunted down a breast pump for me our first night inpatient, after I'd forgotten mine, so that I wasn't in pain and didn't have to leave the hospital in those first scary hours. And grateful that while I have weaned some, I haven't had to do so abruptly as anticipated.
... for rollaway cots and nurses who go out of their way to find them - they might not be as comfy as our beds at home, but man do they beat the chair experience!
... for the friends and family members who continue to send meals, drop off groceries, bring coffee, and run errands multiple times a week - you have no idea how huge of a difference it makes not to have to worry about that amidst everything else. Thank you. For those of you that have come over spur of the moment or middle of the night to watch our kids when we've had to go to the hospital - you are a blessing beyond words.
... for a night of normal, trick-or-treating with our kids. It was so fun to see them excited and adorably dressed up, hanging out with their friends. Their normal has been chaotic lately as well, and so it was a real gift to see them so happy (albeit vastly over sugared!)!
... for the friends (and strangers) who have generously given money and gift cards to help cover parking, meals, house-cleaning, winter clothing for the kids, and hospital bills - we are blown away by your generosity - and your notes and cards have all been read as we sit in the hospital. They make us laugh and cry, and in general, feel very loved. Those of you who have had your kids write cards or send pictures - so sweet and special! Thank you!
... for our squatty potty that we rescued new in-box from a dumpster years ago. We appreciated it before, but in chemo/post-chemo/post-hospital digestion, man, does it make #2 easier. Wish they had these standard in hospitals...
... for a nice shaped head and the advent of hat season just in time for hair loss
... for the person who offered to be a bone marrow donor, if it was needed (not the one Jon mistakenly thought had offered that when they hadn't - although that exchange was kind and humorous as well!). We have no words - your generosity brought us to tears.
... for the mouse that kept running back and forth across the hospital admissions waiting room, as we waited for hours to be admitted for round #2. One never thinks that would be something we'd be thankful for, but it was funny and entertaining, and broke us out of our frustration just a little bit! And when the room attendant was startled by it and screamed and then tried to pass it off as a sneeze so no one would know there was a mouse (even though we'd been watching it for an hour+), that brought laughter that was so needed in that particular moment.
... speaking of mice, we're thankful for the pest control company that came out quickly to block off holes in our house so that our own local mouse problem would be abetted, since my glue traps were only successful in catching our toddler. We are also thankful for a sweet friend from church who helped me trouble shoot our freezer issues, and for a warranty that covers the repairs needed.
... for the healing garden at Dana Farber and the moments of breathing space and respite that it offers
... for the invention of Purrell. Keeping kids not germ-y is hard enough as is, but I can't imagine doing it without that blessed little bottle.
... for teachers (and a school) that work with us to love our kids and care for them well, and keep them as germ-free as possible - it has felt like a community and family in the midst of this crisis.
... for all the text messages, emails, letters, humorous stories, and calls of encouragement. We might not reply to them always - my emailing was abysmal before and is even worse now - but we do read them all and appreciate the tangible reminders that we are not alone.
With Gratitude,
J&K
