The Waiting
We have about 24 hours left before discharge tomorrow. So far the first round of chemo has gone smoothly. They've kept me on anti-nausea medicine, so I haven't felt sick much. Energy feels a bit low, which is probably a combination of the chemo and the frequent interruptions at night. That said, I'm under no illusion that it will stay "easy". In fact, the strategy for this "dose-adjusted" chemo regiment is essentially that if I'm tolerating it too well, they're not giving me enough. That will be measured by how my blood counts look in the coming days. Basically, they want them to bottom out, but just for a short period of time.
It feels obvious we've already entered a season of waiting. Even being in the hospital, finishing up this first round, this is starting to somehow feel "normal". While we'll have frequent blood checks and chemo will take its toll in the weeks to come, and then head back in for rounds 2, 3, 4, etc., we won't really know where things stand until after the 3rd treatment, when they do another PET scan to see if the tumor is responding to treatment.
Waiting is hard.
As always, please continue to pray for us in the days and weeks ahead.
Pray that even while we can't see it, this tumor would already be shrinking rapidly.
Pray for the next couple days. My mom and brother will be heading back to Virginia tomorrow, so Thursday will be our first solo days. That's about when energy and blood counts will begin to drop (they'll hit their lowest in about a week).
Pray for our kids, who have been missing having everyone home and expressing that in a variety of ways.
Pray for Kristen, who is juggling a lot being here with me and making sure things are ok at home.
Thank God (and you!) for the myriad of friends who continue to support us in so many ways through all of this!
Since there isn't much more to say, I thought I'd leave you with a song (one of many, mostly Rich Mullins) that has been meaningful for me, particularly in this season. (Lyrics below)
Hello Old Friends
Hello old friends There's really nothing new to say But the old, old story bears repeating And the plain old truth grows dearer every day When you find something worth believing Well, that's a joy that nothin' could take away
And so we meet again After all these many years Did we sow the seeds we're reaping Now that the harvest calls us here It seems that love blooms out of season And much joy can blossom from many tears
So old friends you must forget what you had to forgive And let love be stronger than the feelings That rage and run beneath the bridge Knowin' morning follows evening Makes each new day come as a gift
